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Joey's Factory

Factory Floor Manager, TV Host, Actress,
Storyteller, Part-time nerd, Down A** Chic.
When my mind wanders, this is where it goes. I offer no solutions. I ask questions and hypothesize. Welcome to my world

A Toast

You know those scary few days before you’re tasked with facing another birthday? I call them scary because those are the days you’re expected to spend time reflecting on the last year of your life and making important decisions as to where this path you’re on is actually leading. Well, at least that’s what I hear you’re supposed to do. Some of us just ignore them all together and keep hoping for the best.

Nonetheless, this week happens to be my birthday week but to be honest, I’ve been spending more time sleeping than reflecting. I mean, sure I’ve got some nice festivities planned for the big day but that’s about it. I haven’t written down any goals I want to achieve in the next year of my life or sat down to review what went wrong/right since the last time I blew into some candles and had cake smeared on my face. I’ve certainly had the time to do all that thinking…but part of me just won’t go there.

I think it’s because I already know what conclusions I would come to if I took a few days to analyze the last three hundred and sixty days or so. Yes, there would be triumphs, but there would also be times when I feel like I let myself down. There would be a few permanent fixtures who should’ve been let go ages ago. I’m talking habits, and people as well. So somehow it seems much easier to just spend more time sleeping and hoping that come the weekend, I’ll get some solid gifts.

The thing about birthdays that I think I fear the most however, is not the actual growing old part. It’s more so just continuing to get to these milestones while feeling like I haven’t been putting my time to the best possible use. I was watching a movie the other day and there was this scene that truly captivated me. It was about those few seconds that flash before your eyes before you die.

Those few moments can tell you a lot about how someone lived their life. Flashes of regret and disappointment in those seconds indicate a life lived for the future, always hoping to make plans to change certain things but never quite getting there. On the other hand, I would like my final seconds to be nothing more than a smile plastered across my face. Just a simple inhale and exhale derived from the satisfaction of knowing that I made it all count somehow.

That I chose to spend my time with people who added value to my life and not toxic leeches disguising themselves as friends (that’s a post for another day). That I gave each day a fighting chance to be a brilliant one, and that somewhere along the line I gave enough of my gifts and talents to change someone’s life for the better.

Nobody ever wants to spend time thinking about death, and well, rightfully so. But these last few days have made me realize that it’s more about life than it is about anything else. Today, this week, this year, it’s about the moments we already have before us. That’s what we need to invest in. Not anything that happened last year, or may possibly happen after a day of birthday celebrations.

This year I think I’ll just toast to that. To me, to now. To making it all count.

"The two most important days in your life are the day you are born and the day you find out why"

-Mark Twain

Well this definitely got my attention…#Word

Well this definitely got my attention…#Word

5 Years From Now…

I was having a conversation about 5-year plans the other day. Which is funny, because I’ve never really believed in them. Every time someone has asked me what my 5-year plan is, I’ve usually responded by saying something along the lines of…’I’m just taking it a day at a time’. Turns out that wasn’t entirely true.

See, the person I was having this conversation with happens to be a permanent fixture in my life who was there 5 years ago when I sat down and dreamed up a career path that I thought I deserved. He was also there in the years following that when some of my plans went south. Yet I just kept on dreaming. I didn’t let detours sabotage my faith and for some reason, it all worked out in the end. I finally got to the place (career-wise at least) where I had naively aimed for all those years ago.

The problem however, arose when I failed to acknowledge that 5 years had gone by and perhaps it was time for a new, and vastly different plan. I also failed to recognize and celebrate the person I had become over the course of that journey. Time had gone by, things had changed, and so had I. 

As human beings, we find safety and security in being on a continuous path to someplace. But what happens when that specified amount of time is not only up, but you also seem to have achieved a goal or two? You start to feel a bit stuck. A bit like someone left you on the side of the road in the middle of nowhere. And they also took your suitcase with them. So now you have to rely on nothing more than your instincts and your resilience to maneuver this unfamiliar terrain. You have to start the climb all over again, and if you’re not careful, life ends up feeling like nothing more than a set of back to back 5-year plans

My conversation about 5 year plans helped me realize a couple of things. One, is that even if I don’t believe in them, I have always instinctively lived by some kind of code that affirms that life is indeed a series of small steps strung together to form a unique journey. But that’s not all it has to be. Secondly, rather than wasting time crying over the suitcase I lost and the driver who dumped me in the middle of nowhere and sped off, perhaps I should devote my time to making a new plan. Setting new, more encompassing goals, and continuing to grow as an individual, not just a robotic existence set to the tune of a melody vaguely resembling a career path.

Don’t get me wrong; careers are important, I cannot dispute that, and I’m eternally grateful for mine. Yet somehow these days I seem to think personal growth counts a whole lot more than a few bullet-points added to your CV when it’s all said and done.

I have no idea what life has in store over the next five years, or even if I’ll be fortunate enough to witness that much more of my journey. I just know that I need to make this count. This…today…every moment that I’m blessed with. In the end, plans change, careers change, detours are set in our paths…but hopefully at the end of it all, our true inner selves are still left standing. So in this line of thought; fully accepting where and who we are at any given moment sounds like a much better plan to me.

So don’t be afraid to embrace the transitions, in my experience, those are the most rewarding stretches of the journey.

"The best vision is insight"

-Malcom S. Forbes

A few rules of the game…As told by Albert Einstein.

A few rules of the game…As told by Albert Einstein.

Weeeezzzz back! New Dj, New Mixes. Head over to hulkshare and party with us sometime

Weeeezzzz back! New Dj, New Mixes. Head over to hulkshare and party with us sometime

Every once in a while I go back and re-read Eckhart Tolle’s ‘The Power of Now’. Today this passage jumped out at me. 

Have you fallen in love with your life’s drama?

Every once in a while I go back and re-read Eckhart Tolle’s ‘The Power of Now’. Today this passage jumped out at me.

Have you fallen in love with your life’s drama?

I’ve been meaning to write a post about ‘blame’ for a while. Just the whole idea of how we’re often so quick to blame other people for our circumstances…which is not really addressing the root of the problem. I guess it makes us feel better to have someone/something to be mad at. But staying mad really does nothing to resolve our ill-feelings. It just allows us to stew in our pain long enough that we begin to accept the idea that we are meant to live that way.

So anyway, the post never materialized, but I did happen to come across this video of Iyanla Vanzant & Oprah discussing something quite similar, which is the power accepting reality rather than running away from it.

I’ll let you watch it for yourself, but I happen to adore these two women and their convictions, so I thought I’d share.

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