Everyday is a good day when you love what you do. #Work.
Everyday is a good day when you love what you do. #Work.
Louis C.K on Dating. (LOL)… I agree its a treacherous process and we should all just stop.
Also, I generally tend to agree with 83% of what Louis C.K says because he’s one of my favorite comedians.
Sometimes in life you look around at what’s going on with you and notice a pattern. Most times you only see it when you’re down on your luck and out of options but if you look long and hard enough, the pattern will always be there, paving the way to a familiar ‘dark place’ where grief and misery usually await with open arms. It’s a place we all try to avoid yet when things get rough it often seems like we’ve just had this open invitation to the pity part stamped on our foreheads all along.
Two things can happen when you find yourself in that place that is lacking of light. 1. You can stay there. Just roll around in the muddy rut and make yourself comfortable. That’s the easy option. 2. You can begin to find your way out. Sometimes you’ll start with option one and wallow in self-pity till your psyche feels ready to slip, slide, and claw your way out of the rut. Whichever way you get to that number two option though, you owe it to yourself to look around long enough to try and figure out why you found yourself there this time; and make some changes on the other side so you do not become a frequent flyer on that airplane to despair.
I’ve always managed to get myself out of the rut given enough time. Recently however, I realized that I simply hadn’t taken the time to find that pattern that kept landing me there. See, when you locate the pattern, you locate the problem. It’s really like your treasure map out of Hades. And though our patterns may differ, I’m willing to place a wager that a few people reading this will eventually discover that their ‘road-to-sadness’ pattern looks exactly like mine.
My pattern is this: I’m always searching for the wrong pieces of the puzzle to fill a void which I seem to re-create for myself every time I find myself back in a happy place.
Does that make sense to anyone? It’s the simple human condition of dissatisfaction. Here you are, freshly back from the rut, life is good, you have what you need to get through today, yet your mind tricks you into thinking that there’s one more character or addition to your life story which could really make things complete. Could be the ‘ideal’ partner, a better car, living in a bigger house, nicer clothes, a smaller waist, a new job, longer hair,…I mean the longer this list gets, the more I realize how ridiculous I sound. Yet in that moment, you become convinced that by adding this one thing to your reality, life will somehow become complete. The race will end. You will have arrived at your destination and all will be well with the world.
So you go out and start trying to attain that one thing. Then you get it…and quickly realize that none of your far-fetched wishes of completion have come true. At that point you might decide to indulge in some kind of mind-numbing experience which ends up landing you back in the dark place. Where you spend some time wallowing then eventually decide to crawl out on all fours. Monday morning comes around, you’ve had a good night sleep and you’re thankful for being out of the rut alive. Again. Until Thursday gets here and you start to contemplate your life. You realize your life bores you. So you start the journey again. ‘What one thing could make it all better?’, you ask yourself….See the pattern?
There’s a saying in Hiphop culture that describes the daily grind as being the ‘same sh*t, different toilet’. In essence that’s what I’ve just described above. Because in reality, until the day you open your eyes to the fact that no external thing can bring back your joy, everyday will feel like just another day at the restroom. You see, those things we set off looking for will never fix the pain or the hurt that’s inside us. They’ll provide some quick relief, yes, but whatever is actually ailing you will always seem to pop back up when you’re feeling vulnerable again.
So what can you do about it? Really depends on the formation of your pattern. Personally, I’ll tell you what I’ve recently come to terms with. I simply choose, everyday, to put the focus back on me. I choose to appreciate the person I am, the competence I have in my work, the love I receive from my family, the amazing friend that I’m capable of being, the new recipe I just learned to cook, the lessons I’ve learnt from the books I’ve read, the progress I’ve made on an emotional level this year, the opportunities that I’m yet to embrace…
Essentially I’ve learned to stop looking ‘out there’ for what I already have ‘in here’. I’ve learned to stop searching for completion and start appreciating that fact that I am indeed whole in this very moment. Because in the end the external search is futile. It’s like looking for the wrong thing in the wrong place; it’s a phantom, thus you’ll never find it.
HOT damn! Hello better looking Drake who sings cover songs!! Lawd I love youtube. So this guy aint even my type but I watched that whole video blushing for some reason. I’m pretty sure the male version of chics who show skin on youtube is a guy who sings while looking directly in the camera.
P.S. I admit I did not entirely post this video for its vocal quality like I normally do but the guy has some pretty decent covers ( I usually judge the quality of a cover song by whether I can listen to it without watching the video but with this one…well…um…the visual helps). Check him out if he’s your type. Hahaha <continuous evil laugh>, and you’re welcome ladies.
#Np- Drake - Hold On We’re Going Home.
A couple pics from the Tusker #TwendeKazi press launch last night. I’ll be hosting the 1st episode live on the 23rd of this month, do tune in!.
See link below:
I suppose the great thing about having those ‘what was I thinking moments’ is that they indicate that you are now in a different, and hopefully better place. I had one of those moments when I woke up in a cold sweat this morning. Apparently I had been having a bad dream. A very bad dream whereby I was somehow stuck in a part of my past featuring someone whom I’d very much prefer to erase from the story of my life.
I believe we all have one (or five) of those situations in our past. A time when you found yourself clinging onto someone/something utterly useless. Yet at the time it seemed like the best thing since sliced bread. It happens. Life knocks you down. Your self-esteem takes a dip. You need something to hold onto. So you reach for whatever your hands can grab. And you hold on for dear life.
You remain in this rut until you have the strength to pull yourself up by the sheer realization that ‘this can’t be life’. Thing is, while you’re still in the knocked down position you can’t see past the horizon. Whatever you’re holding onto seems to serve its purpose. It feels comfortable for the simple fact that it’s the best you can do at that time. And that’s o.k for the meantime. Until it’s not.
The nightmare I had last night scared the crap out of me. I was dealing with a former familiar crutch in the form of a down-on-his luck leech. He was broke again and had gotten himself in a bind. He called me for help, and I went running. I remember looking down at him and wondering what I could possibly gain from helping him out yet again. Nothing. Yet habit kicked in and I found myself re-assuring him and offering him whatever he needed.
Even in my dream he stunk. It was a toxic mixture of desperation and questionable personal hygiene. It was really quite terrifying. I guess a part of me willed my subconscious to shut it all down at some point and I woke up so relieved that I just sat there for a few moments to make sure my present reality is indeed real. It felt like a couple demons had just escaped from the confines of my room.
It sucks that life knocks us into ruts sometimes. It sucks even more that we choose to stay down as long as we often do. But it’s always great to couple those memories with an appreciation for the present. Looking back at how far you’ve come is a blessing, not an opportunity for remorse and self-pity.
So wake up. Let it sink in. You’re out of the rut, and you did it all by yourself. Let those sleeping demons lie.
I love reading about introverts. Other than the fact that I think we’re just incredibly interesting people (;-)), it’s always fun to see what the latest research has to say about us. My sister sent me a link this morning and I had so much fun reading it I forgot to eat breakfast. I think I scored a good 20/23 on the list.
*Introverts R Us* See link above…